The Rock[]
- [Within a monastery in the mountains of the Himalayas, the three Dark Hand enforcers have been tied together by a gleeful Jackie and left dangling upside down by their legs.]
- Finn: You're not gonna get away with this, Chan.
- [Jackie turns around and begins to walk away, prompting Finn, Ratso and Chow to struggle against their bonds.]
- Finn: Hey, hey!
- Chow: Hey!
- Finn: Where are you going!?
- Ratso: Hey!
- Jackie: Hey is for horses. Speaking of which... [He gleefully reveals the Horse Talisman.] ...I am the winner by a nose.
- [Before Jackie can exit the building, Tohru suddenly bursts through the front door.]
- Tohru: Chan!
- Jackie: [He screams.]
- [Tohru attempts to pounce on Jackie, only to fall flat on his stomach after the latter swiftly jumps out of the way. Jackie subsequently leaps out of the monastery through a window before commandeering a pair of skis left in front of the building alongside two other pairs of skis and a snowmobile.]
- Tohru: [He witnesses Jackie ski down the mountain after exiting the monastery through the front door alongside Ratso and Chow.] After him!
- [Ratso and Chow charge toward the two aforementioned pair of skis before proceeding to equip them and race after Jackie. Tohru subsequently boards the snowmobile before racing in the same direction. Just as Tohru leaves, Finn belatedly arrives on the scene.]
- Finn: Chan jacked my gear!
- Finn: [After getting an idea, he runs back to the monastery before leaping on top of the building's broken door, commandeering it as a makeshift snowboard.] Snowboard! [He hums a tune to himself whilst proceeding to sled down the mountain.]
- [Jackie races down the mountain with Ratso and Chow in hot pursuit and Tohru gradually gaining on him. After catching up with Jackie, Tohru pulls his snowmobile beside him to the left with a growl. Jackie yells in shock before ducking to the right, only to pull up beside Chow. Jackie and Chow are immediately flung into a confrontation with each using their ski poles to attack the other. Jackie is swiftly able to disarm Chow of one of his ski poles with a kick before the pair are joined by Ratso.]
- Jackie: [He peers behind his shoulder whilst his back is turned only to find a warning sign directly ahead of his path that reads "Quiet! Avalanche Zone".]
- Jackie: [Reading to himself.] "Quiet! Avalanche Zone"?
- [Jackie leaps over the sign with a back flip, facing forwards upon landing. Chow, Ratso and Tohru simply charge straight into the sign which shatters it into pieces.]
- Tohru, Ratso and Chow: [They all turn to each other with a quiet gesture.] Shhhh!
- [Ratso and Chow pull up to Jackie on either side and resume fighting him with ski poles, albeit quietly.]
- Finn: [He gradually catches up towards Jackie and the others after passing the shattered remains of the sign, disregarding its now-unreadable warning.] Guys, wait up!
- Tohru: [He peers behind his shoulder towards Finn.] Quiet.
- Finn: What!?
- Tohru: BE QUIET! [He gasps apprehensively upon hearing his bellowing voice echo loudly which expectedly sets off an avalanche.]
- Finn: [He gazes up at the unfolding avalanche.] Ohhh, mama. [He is subsequently consumed by the massive tide of snow.]
- [Jackie and the others all scream whilst trying to outrun the rapid flow of snow. After getting an idea, Jackie pulls up beside Tohru before tearing off his shirt.]
- Tohru: Huh?
- [Tohru, Ratso and Chow are all subsequently consumed by the avalanche. Before the avalanche can reach Jackie, however, he plunges off the edge of a cliff whilst using Tohru's shirt as a makeshift parachute.]
- [Poking out of the snow stiffly, Tohru and the three enforcers all wince in discomfort.]
- Jackie: [He steadily descends to safety.] Living large. Extra large.
- [Coughing, sneezing]
- Ah-choo!
- Ah-choo!
- Tohru: Ah-ah-choo!
- Cover your mouth.
- [Shivers] Big "v," you th-think you could turn up the h-heat?
- Shendu: Allow me.
- That's plenty.
- Much obliged.
- Careful, shendu. If you charbroil the help, they'll never find the next talisman.
- The next talisman is insufficient, valmont. I need all 12 to shed this petrified form and regain my true powers.
- We are working on it, shendu.
- With your customary ineptitude. Once again, this chan has snatched a talisman from your so-called professionals.
- [Coughs] Too bad chan ain't workin' for us.
- Hmm.
- Perhaps he can be persuaded.
- Level one security card? Check. [Buzzes] I punched in your birthday, captain black. Invalid code. Nice try, though. It's not polite to hack into security systems that don't belong to you. I saw a 7! Whoa, slow down, little lady. The entire floor is a sensor field. Shall we put horsey in the stable? You mean the talisman? You didn't bring it? Uh, no. Uncle's still trying to research what magic... It has. Heh heh. Uh, uncle and his crazy hobbies. [Beeping] [Buzzes] "Namsilat?" Talisman spelled backward, duh. You get an "a" for effort, smarty pants. But not only is section 13 top secret... It's impenetrable.
- Shendu: This potion should accommodate your needs perfectly, valmont.
- Then by this time tomorrow, chan will have no choice but to work for the dark hand. Now for the bait.
- I have translated the inscription on the back of the talisman. A very perplexing riddle. "If activated, the noble horse expels all alien forces within." Hmm.
- I bet those alien forces inside the talisman fly out and latch onto human brains and turn people into mind-control zombies to conquer the world. Eh, the alien forces signal the mother ship to launch an invasion? This isn't the martian talisman?
- There is no such thing as martians! The talismans are magic.
- [Cell phone rings] Hello?
- Jackie, the mainframe located another bogey. Pack your toothbrush. You're going to mount rushmore, south Dakota.
- I'm on my way.
- Let's rock.
- Uh, uncle needs you. You, uh, you were this close to solving the riddle of the talisman. Let's crack that code. Unh! Uhh! The talisman couldn't be in the gift shop? Ahh. What big eyes you have. Don't blink, Mr. president. Huh? The snake talisman? We already got that one. Ye-aah! Ohh. Oh-ohh. Valmont. Upsy-Daisy. Ooh, snake bite. Could be fatal. You bring me all the way out here to poison me? A rather appropriate lure, since the venom now rushing through your veins will soon turn you to stone. Just because I believe in magic talismans doesn't mean I am gullible. Visual aid. In 12 hours, Mr. chan, you shall be among the statuesque. The venom takes 12 hours to fully infect humans. Fortunately for you, an antidote does exist. I can provide you with that antidote, Mr. chan. What's the catch? An exchange of goods: The cure to your affliction for the talismans in section 13. Should you decide you're interested in my offer, you may rendezvous with my men at coit tower in exactly 11 hours, 52 minutes. And don't forget the talismans. Ugh! Where is the antidote? You think I'd be foolish enough to bring it with me? Uhh-aah! Uh-uh-uh. Need those talismans. Ulp. Ach! Urgh. Ech. Ah, so it begins. Time is a-wasting, Mr. chan, and it's a 2-hour flight back to San Francisco. You're turning to stone? I have until 6 A.M. Valmont's men will be waiting with the antidote at coit tower. Wh-what are we gonna do? The riddle of the horse talisman can wait. I will make an antidote. But, uncle, we don't know the formula. Bah! Mine will be just as good. Swallow. [Coughs, gags] That's the antidote? No. Fermented beetle larva is good protein. [Dripping] Drink. [Gulp, gulp] Oof. Gee-heh. Ach! Gee-yee-aah. Jackie: What? What is it? Nothing. Don't... don't look in the mirror. What? Aaaaaah! I told you not to look in the mirror! Oh! I am a lizard! I will become a stone lizard! Uncle: See? Reptiles shed their skin. No problem. Uh, did the antidote work? Eh, huh, ach! Jade: Guess not. Maybe captain black could get the section 13 doctors to help. Pfft, modern medicine has no power over ancient spells. I will make another antidote. - Jade: Jackie? - Aah! Jackie, you have to give the talismans to valmont. I can't. According to the legend, the power in each talisman is nothing compared to the power of all 12 combined. But if you're all turned to stone, who's gonna stop the dark hand from getting the talismans anyway? That's captain black's department. I'm just research, remember? Jackie, please! I don't want a Boulder for an uncle. Captain black, I need a ride back to section 13 for Jade. It's past her bedtime. Ok. If that's the way you want it. It was 3 digits ending in 7. 3 digits, 7? Captain black, I got your number. The only way to save Jackie is Jackie-style. I have a new antidote. This may sting. Unh! Hmm. [Cell phone rings] Yes? She what? Caught it all on tape. Jade's made her point. She can be an agent when she grows up. Now tell her to return the goods. Yes, I will tell her.
- [Coughing, sneezing] Valmont had to pick the draftiest place in town. [Sniffle] Should've called in sick. Could I bum a tissue? All right, you sickos. Let's get down to business. Ain't it past your bedtime? [Chuckles] Where's chan? Never mind him. I've got everything you want... Right here. Well? How do I know that antidote's the real deal? That'll work. Ah-ah-choo! The talismans. Jade, don't! Aah-ohh. I have to, Jackie. You're running out of time. Thank you. [Gasps] No! Oh-aah? Unh. [Laughing and coughing]
- One is missing.
- No way! I cleaned out the vault. [Gasps] I forgot the horse one at uncle's. Um, if you give me the antidote, I really for sure promise to get you the other one. Scout's honor?
- Tsk, like she's a scout.
- Noooo! Why?
- Ah-choo! Because chan makes me sick!
- Jackie.
- Don't worry, Jade.
- Uncle will come through.
- We don't need your stinking antidote! Unh! Uhh! Unh! [Panting] Unh, oh, uhh. [Clunk] Ow! Ooh. Aah! Grrr. Oh, aah. Oh, that doesn't hurt at all. Unh! Hey, give me that! Unh! No fair! Hey, stop it! Jackie! Uncle! You found the antidote? No. I brought the horse talisman to trade for their antidote. Both: Ohh. One more thing: I also brought the antidotes that did not work. Maybe if I mix them together. Aieeeyaaa!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-choo!
- Gesundheit.
- Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh! Uhh-uhh-urr-uhh-uhh-uhh! [Crash] Tohru: Ow.
- That ought to keep him, unless this is the sprout-wings-and-fly talisman. Both: Get her! Jade! The dark hand will... ooga-ugh! Never have... gulp! All 12... Jackie! A dollar says his hand'll snap right off. Deal. Deal. You stay away from him! Oops. Uhh, unh! Heh, heh. Uncle: 2 more things... [Growls] Both: Hey! Aah! Aah! Oof! Oof! Aah! Oh, Jackie. He was very brave. I miss him, uncle. He left a fine memorial for us: Looks just like him. [Sniffles] We could put him in the garden. Or outside the shop to ward away evil.
- [Thumping] [Takes deep breath] Ahh. My cold is gone, like magic.
- "The noble horse expels all alien forces within." The riddle! It doesn't mean aliens within the talisman. It means aliens within the sick person holding the talisman. The horse is the healing talisman. Think it only works on colds? The talisman. How'd tohru activate it? How? Ah-choo!
- Hey. Hey! Hyah!
- Aroo-uhh-uhh, uhh-ugh-uhh. Uhh-uhh-urr-uhh-uhh-uhh. [Crash] Tohru: Ow!
- Jackie! Ohh. I told you I would bring the antidote. You must never question uncle! Thank you both. Now, we have some talismans to return. I've got some explaining to do, huh? We will just tell captain black we were between a rock and a hard place. Heh heh. Boy: Hey, Jackie, do you have a favorite color? My favorite color: White, blue... light blue. Green is good. As normal as possible. When I look at the sky... All blue, all white: So beautiful. Sometimes for the movie I'm wearing a red, pink, uh, purple... I don't like that. Mostly I like white. White means calm, gentleman, nice person and handsome.